To all of you who have are fortunate to have never tasted hahn-yak, it’s a brown liquid traditional korean/chinese herbal medicine that can have a variety of secret and special ingredients. All i know that it’s made by boiling and distilling ginseng, other dried plant matter and dried antler horns. yes. this stuff is not vegetarian friendly.You can make it at home or it comes in little capri-sun like packets that you stash in the crisper drawer of the fridge.
My family has always been obsessed with hahn-yak. my uncle would have a packet every day and then my aunt would take the empty packet, add a little water, swirl it around, and then water her house plants with it. Apparently it’s good for ferns too.
At the korean store there’s a variety of different machines to help you brew the perfect cup, and i know that if you visit an overpaid “oriental herbal doctor” he’ll brew up a special batch for just whatever ails you.
I’ve had to drink it to help my circulation, grow thicker hair, become smarter, get rid of my pimples, and to prepare my body for optimum baby making. Basically to become the best korean girl possible. Clearly that did not work out. So i haven’t had to drink any for the last 10 yrs because i lived with my dad (who thank goodness does not care to ask about my circulation) or bc i was in college. But now that i’m back with my mom, hahn yak is back in my life too.
But you’ll never guess how. So as some of you may know, my mom owns a beauty supply. A little known fact about koreans is that when they’re not running dry cleaners, they’re running “ethnic” (read: black) beauty supplies. All of the wholesalers are korean and most of the products are made by koreans. it’s weird.
Well anyways, as a christmas gift to their loyal customers, a wig company named “Shake ‘n Go” (as in, you can just take the wig out of the bag, shake, and stick it right on your head and go about your busy day) sent my mom a gigantic box of hahn yak.
Today while i was trying to nap in front of the heater after dinner my mom physically attacked me, armed with a packet of hahn yak. I squirmed and tried to explain that it was completely unnessesary and that i liked my poor circulation, but she was persistant and violent. So i finally sat up, stuck the straw in my mouth and was filled with horror. The smell is pungent. i can’t even begin to explain. really i can’t, i’ll try to think of adequate adjectives later. AND to make it worse, it was luke warm, the worst temperature ever. I closed my eyes and frantically sucked up the packet. when i was finished i gasped for air and felt defeated.
my mom congratulated me on my future health and i shoved a whole choco pie in my mouth. i think i might go get another.


























































